My solution: rag rolling. I read about this in a magazine at the salon the other day.
You just cut strips of fabric and roll your wet hair onto them in sections and sleep on it.
In the morning voila!
Ok, it doesn't work on curly hair.
My theory is that my hair was thinking "Oh snap she wants us to curl, we are so good at that, we got this made!" and it kicked it into overdrive. So moral of the story, still on the search for a way to tame naturally curly hair into a beach wave. Suggestions?